The One Where I Alienate all My (4) Male Readers

Hey man people, I like you I really do. If you want to be able to continue our relationships you might want to press that little button up there, to the left. The one that looks like this <--. Seriously, do it.

Now that it's just us girls let me show you what is wrong with the state of marketing today. Yes, I know this post isn't about creativity but it has to be written or my brain might asplode.

A little background for you. Shopper's Drugmart is, as you might guess, a drugstore. They have a little loyalty program that gets you reward points every time you make a purchase and those points can be used for $ off your purchases...save up enough and you can get $75 of free stuff which is great when you are buying diapers (still) and formula (not anymore). We cashed in a few times and it was fantastic. Now, free stuff doesn't come without a price. They have me on their mailing list and I get a magazine full of ads for makeup - whatever. I also get coupons and stuff from time to time. Whatever. But the other day I got this:

It was a little box. My name was on it (on the other side) plus there was something in it! I had visions of sweet smelling lotion samples, or some kind of hair product. I got excited and missed the subtle hints as to what was inside (I've used arrows to illustrate them for you. Notice the polka dotted ribbon and the red dot in the exclamation mark.

I opened it up and here is what was inside:


The text says "A fitting gift just for you! FREE samples!"

Just what I wanted. Boy, how "fitting". How did they know I was only days away from menstruating?

I don't know about you but I've used the same brand of 'protection' for the last 15 years. A free sample isn't going to change that. The only time a woman deviates from her 'usual' is if she's out in public and discovers an unfortunate surprise. She runs to the washroom only to find her purse stock is gone. She might then, take whatever is in her girlfriends purse because it's better than praying to the lord that your quarter is accepted in one of those machines on the wall (it never is.)

So, Kotex and Shoppers Drug Mart, you've wasted your money. Your little pads disguised as presents thing won't convert masses of women to the Kotex side. It will however, make us blog about how stupid an idea it was. If you want to increase your sales, get online and use some new media. And that blog you have going where you talk to teen girls about peer pressure doesn't count. We don't want to have 'happy periods' (another brand, I know) we want to complain about it as much as we can. We want to align ourselves with the brand that says - "Aw man, the witch is visiting? Here's some chocolate." Maybe you should have sent me some of that and I'd be in a different mood right about now.

So girls, what should I do with this Kotex sample? Suggestions?

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